Friday, December 2, 2011

Sweet Saturday Samples

From an untitled work in progress, hopefully a short story: (Barbara is a secondary character in Hauntings of the Heart.)

         The fishy, seaweedy smell of the lake wafted in the breeze, mixing with the damp mossiness of the trees. Barbara stared down the trail where the path disappeared around a curve.

The legend claimed a light would bob along the path shortly after twilight and when one approached it, the light disappeared. Those who claimed to have “seen” it said was the lantern of a warden who disappeared searching for an escaped inmate. Neither he or the inmate had ever been found. Some said the inmate killed the warden and buried him in the sand dunes. Others said the warden lost his way as a storm came across the lake, disoriented by the wind and raid, he wandered into the raging surf and drowned.
Ever since, the light had been called the Warden’s Light and had yet to be documented by an official team of paranormal investigators. She’d checked on the Internet at work this afternoon. Her boss wouldn’t care. He was the one who brought up the haunting. As always he claimed to think it was a natural phenomenon, but to him everything was a weather event. Blizzards, hurricanes, tornadoes, rain storms, cumulous clouds and clear skies. He was fascinated by it all. She doubted he thought of anything else.
Barbara had told herself that a lot lately. Specifically, every morning as she got dressed for work. It didn’t matter whether she wore the pencil skirt that accentuated her hips or the sweater that hugged her breasts, Elmer still wouldn’t notice her. 

Any title suggestions?

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Find more samples at Sweet Saturday Samples


  1. Great Sample, and I think you've already given yourself a title. The Warden's Light.

  2. I agree with Sherry. Barbara is a poignant character, and she's clearly set upon an adventure, both of the heart and physically. Thanks, Joselyn!

  3. Love your description of the setting, as well as the legend. This story has lots of possibilities! Can't wait to hear more.

  4. I hope you finish this! It sounds wonderful. I'd love to know more about Elmer.

  5. "The Warden's Light" sounds like a great title - this little excerpt would explain it perfectly. Great work on this sample too. It's descriptive and pulls the reader in right from the beginning.

  6. Yes, I also vote for 'The Warden's Light'. Great scene and can't wait to read more

  7. Thanks everyone for stopping by! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story. I can't wait to see what happens next.

    Okay, so I do know what happens directly after this scene, but I want to know what happens after the scene I'm working on. Maybe I'll find out tonight.

  8. Nice sample. I also like the title of "The Warden's Light."

  9. I like getting the background on the light...nice and eerie in its understatement. Good job!


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